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Early Morning Stroll (Part One)

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PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2004 12:43 pm    Post subject: Early Morning Stroll (Part One) Reply with quote

Date: 12/28/2003 5:43 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: HarrisTheHeckler

The cawing of a rooster was his morning wake up call, though like most days nothing short of a crowbar could pry him from a warm bed.  Harris rolled over, reaching out with a closed fist to pound the rooster into submission, lips spreading in a smile as the noise finally ceased.  His eyes eventually opened to peer at his fiancée lying beside him, still sound asleep.  Apparently the earplugs he purchased for her were working, having finally been able to silence her complaints about using a rooster for an alarm clock.  Another roll and he was out of bed, thumping heavily against the floor.  Not a word uttered as he picked himself up and scurried out of the room, making a beeline for the door in his boxers.  He was already outside when he finally realized he wasn't dressed, lids fluttering in a bewildered blink as he hurried back inside.  Once properly clothed his day could begin, shoving off and beginning his journey away from the dojo for an early morning walk.  Eventually he came across a small girl standing at the base of a rather large tree, gaze fixed upward, tears streaming down her face.  He came to a halt behind her, squinting in an effort to find what she was looking for up in that tree.

"Uhh, what's the problem, little missy?" he queried.

"My kitty's stuck up in that tree!!" she exclaimed, pointing upward.

"It's not stuck.  It's a cat.  It just doesn't like you." Harris nodded emphatically.  Apparently that wasn't the correct response as the little girl began to bawl.

"Please get my kitty down, mister!" she pleaded.

"Right.  Harris to the rescue."

Harris shrugged his shoulders and decided to lend a hand since he didn't have anything better to do at the moment.  Plus it could count as his good deed for the day.  There was a thoughtful tapping of his chin before he decided to dig around in his pockets.  A boomerang was his cat fetching choice of equipment, once again glancing upward to search out the kitty.  A flick of his wrist sent the boomerang hurtling upward only to end up lost in the foliage.  His lips twisted in a frown, that is until he spotted a familiar looking furry object drop from the sky.  He stepped forward to view the object that had hit the pavement, and apparently cats didn't always land on their feet, at least not when knocked unconscious by boomerang wielding maniacs. 

"Uhh, your kitty's out of the tree..."

There was no response from the little girl.  She simply stared him down before breaking out into tears again and running back into her house, leaving the motionless cat behind.

"I do you a favor and this is how you repay me!?" Harris shouted after her, shaking his fist. 

The day could probably only get better from there.
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PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2004 12:43 pm    Post subject: Re: Early Morning Stroll (Part Two) Reply with quote

Date: 12/28/2003 6:17 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: HarrisTheHeckler

Onward.  His early morning stroll continued, lips pursed as he whistled some random tune he had picked up.  Every now and then he was forced to bare his teeth and growl at onlookers who had apparently taken an interest in his blue hair.  It was much easier than having to explain it matched the blue flames on his new bike and made him look cool.  Soon he was so deeply engulfed in his thoughts he began to wander aimlessly, eventually bumping into something.  That something happened to be a woman.  A bag carrying woman.  At least she was carrying bags until he ran into her.  Now those bags were strewn across the ground and he was on the receiving end of one of those stares he seemed to get from a lot of females.  Though this particular female happened to be well built, so an apology was in order.

"Err, terribly sorry about that.  Guess I sorta got lost in thought." Harris grinned wide as he explained, immediately dropping to a knee to help the woman scoop up her packages.

"It's alright."

"Out returning the gifts people were nice enough to buy you for the holidays?" he couldn't help but snicker as he questioned her.

"No… No!  Not exactly."

Apparently that was exactly what she was doing, and being the gentleman that he was Harris decided to peer into a few of the bags he was helping her with.  Nothing all too spectacular.  He noted a few cooking utensils, some clothing, and several other trinkets.  Though one of the bags contained her newly purchased delicates.  Needless to say that caught his attention and he dipped his hand into the bag, retrieving a pair of panties.

"Hey, are these those edible kind?"

"What are you… Put those back!!" she exclaimed. 

If the woman's hands hadn't been filled with the bags she just scooped up she probably would've flailed at him.  Though once Harris decided to actually put the panties in his mouth and begin gnawing on them she immediately dropped her bags and began swatting at him.  Soon he was the one flailing, the bags he had been helping her with ending up back on the sidewalk, that pair of panties still dangling from his mouth.  At this point she began chasing after him, snagging the purse from her shoulder to beat him soundly over the head with.  Harris was quick on his feet, having years upon years of experience fleeing from angry women that wanted to hurt him.  Once again he was flailing as he bolted down the street, fleeing from the woman until she finally ceased chasing him.  After making sure she was truly gone he flopped down onto the nearest bench and continued munching on the panties, it taking him several long moments to realize that they weren't the edible kind afterall.  Eventually he simply discarded them into the nearest trashcan with a sigh before rubbing at his belly, a wave of hunger suddenly washing over him.  If he didn't have panties to eat he'd need to find somewhere to get a bite to eat. 

And so he went searching…
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PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2004 12:44 pm    Post subject: Re: Early Morning Stroll (Part Three) Reply with quote

Date: 12/28/2003 6:59 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: HarrisTheHeckler

Vendors seemed to dot the landscape in RhyDin for some reason, pushing their tiny stands all around town in search of the hungry.  Well, Harris happened to be one of the hungry.  He was busy idly wondering why there weren't any hamburger vendors as he strolled down the street in search of food.  Eventually he came upon a vendor.  A rather popular one it would seem as a line had formed.  He groaned audibly, taking a moment to debate searching for another vendor, but his stomach had the last word, or last growl at least, forcing him to wander over and stand at the end of the line.  It just so happened there were four people in front of him, which proved to be too many.

"Hey, let's go already.  I'm hungry."

That caught the attention of everyone in line and the vendor as well, all pausing to turn and stare at the rude man.  And then business went back to normal. Soon enough Harris was at the front of the line and ready to order.

"Lemme see here.  I'll take three hot dogs.  Now the first one should have ketchup, mustard, relish, onions and barbecue sauce.  The second one should have ketchup, mayonnaise, onions, and cheese.  But no relish.  Or mustard.  No, wait.  Yeah.  Add mustard.  I want the third one plain, but with onions and mustard.  And relish.  Yeah."

"Um, sir?  This is a popsicle stand."


"This isn't a hot dog stand.  It's a popsicle stand.  Didn't you read the menu?"

Harris stared blankly at the vendor, then he glanced downward to view the menu and find out that he was indeed ordering hot dogs from a popsicle stand.  He grumbled and out of frustration ended up giving the popsicle stand a kick.  A kick that managed to dislodge the wooden block that kept the stand from rolling away under its own power.  The vendor's eyes widened as his stand began rolling down the sidewalk and eventually off the curb, his efforts to keep it out of the street futile.  Onlookers watched in awe as a truck barreled right on through the small, rolling popsicle stand, simply annihilating it and raining popsicles down on all in the vicinity.  A little girl at the back of the line cried out.

"Mommy, what happened to Daddy's popsicles?" 

Harris pried his gaze from the scene unfolding in front of him to glance toward the little girl.  And suddenly things went from bad to worse.

"Mommy!  That's the man that killed my cat!" shouted the little girl, pointing toward Harris.

"That's the man that ate my panties!!" shouted the girl's Mother, also pointing at Harris.

"You just wrecked my stand, ass!" shouted the vendor.

In a situation like this there was only one option.  Run for your life.  And that's exactly what Harris did, fleeing as fast as he could from the mob slowly forming behind him.  Apparently that would be the end of his early morning stroll.  And he probably wouldn't be taking another anytime soon.
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