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To Make It Hot, Part 2

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PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2004 12:53 pm    Post subject: To Make It Hot, Part 2 Reply with quote

Date: 1/17/2004 6:09 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Kaja Adair

* Written by Koyliak VanDuran, Kaja Adair, and Pslyder.

    “Kaj, you’ve gotta be kiddin’ me. Tony is waaaay cuter than Chris.  I mean, your taste is questionable already with Tical an’ all, but you can’t deny that Tone is far, far finer than Chris.”

    “There ya go doggin’ mah taste in men again.  Nex’ ya gon’ tell me tha’ Pslyder is hideous an’ shouldn’a been Mr. January.” Kaja rolled her eyes, taking care not to get too much snow on her new Manolo Blahnik Timberland heels.   Alicia Melland, recently hired as Kaja Adair’s personal assistant, was silent for a minute, and as Kaja turned a pointed glance towards her, she grinned. 

    Alicia dramatically swooned, hugging her bag like it was the Unmentionables All-Star himself, coming back to the sidewalk with a grin and a blush.  “C’mon, Kaj! Pslyder?  He’s got ass for days! Def’nitely better than that G obsession you got. I mean, he’s like WHOA.  I hear that a girl’s gotta ride ‘im instead of doin’ missionary position with him ‘cause he’s got all that machinery and is like 400 pounds and can crush you an’ stuff, but that’s okay by me ‘cause I think I can handle ‘im and I’ll make him so hot he’ll short circuit…”

    “Yeah, ‘e does ‘ave a li’l junk in ‘is trunk, tha’s fer sure.” Kaja said, cutting the girl off before she went into yet another of those ‘how-hot-is-Pslyder’ tirades. “But G… ‘e’s got a lotta class when ‘e’s not being a lecher an’ stuff. An’ it’s not a fraggin’ obsession. Wait, ‘ere we are.”

      Kaja pointed to the door, pushing her way through with one bag of hair tools as Alicia sauntered in with the other. The place was dark and empty, prompting Kaja to look around suspiciously.  She turned on the lights briefly, but seeing a small office to the side, decided to make camp there.  She turned off the greater warehouse lights, not sure that she wanted anyone else to know that she and Alicia were there alone, and if anyone were to come, she wanted the element of surprise.  She was suddenly uneasy.

      “Kaja?”  Alicia asked quietly, afraid at the other woman’s sudden mood change.  “Somethin’ wrong?”

       “Nah. Jes’ don’ like surprises. Do me a favor an’ set yer stuff down in theah.”  She pointed to the office, her left hand snaking down to the billy club at her side and stepping backwards after Alicia, scanning the area for sound and movement.  Once they got into the office, Kaja relaxed a little, and Alicia continued talking.

      “Yeah, an’ I would get him into the hot tub, ‘cause I hear that he’s like waterproof…”

      Kaja blinked, scowling. “Who? Wha’?”

      This prompted an exasperated sigh from Alicia, who rolled her eyes and ran her hands through her brown hair. “Pslyder, who else?”

       “Gah, yer killin’ me wit’ this bangin’ Pslyder business. ‘Sides, ain’t he insane or somethin’?  Ya sure ya really wanna be bangin’ a 400 pound insane elf?”

       Alicia waved this off. “Details, details, details, Kaj.  ‘Sides, crazy guys are the best lays, don’t ya know?”

       “Nah, ah don’ know. An’ be quiet.  Pslyder’ll break yer young ass in ‘alf.  Shh. Ah ‘ear somethin’.”

       Light came into the warehouse from the door which Kaja and Alicia had entered just a few minutes before.  Kaja heard footsteps, and then a boisterous female voice.

      “Wha kinda operation is this? Anybody workin ‘round here?”

       Kaja smiled, truly relaxing, stepping out of the office.  “Yeah, we’re workin’.  Jes’ don’ ‘ave nobody ta work on. So c’mere an keep me busy, girl.”  Kaja chuckled, beckoning Koyliak and her companion over.

      “Ooh, Koy… ya done mos’ o’ mah work fer me. Tha’s a good thang.  Makes fer a very ‘appy Kaja.” 

    “Well I aim ta please,” Koy returned the smile, shrugging her way out of her coat and passing it over to Tula, who for once in her life was silent.  The teen’s hazel eyes had gone wide as she stared at Kaja.    Tula always watched the Crew’s matches on TV with her brothers. Koy hadn’t told her they were going to be working with a celebrity!

    “Wha’s wrong with ye, kobold got yer tongue or something?  Stop starin’, it’s rude and the bug-eyed look is all wrong fer ye, dear.” Koy chuckled, regarding Tula. 

    Tula’s face flushed red at Koy’s remark as she leaned in closer to Koy, still too starstruck to register any anger.  “Don’t you know who that is??” she hissed into Koy’s pointed ear.

    Television was one Rhydinian technological advancement that she had not dared to experiment with yet, making Koy rather oblivious to the extent of Kaja’s fame.  “’Course I do, tha’s Kaja.  I was ‘bout ta make the introductions before ye started lookin’ like ye were in puppy love or somethin’.”  Straightening up, Koy waved a hand in Kaja’s direction.  “Tula, this is Kaja.”  Now gesturing back towards Tula.  “Kaja, Tula.”

    Kaja flashed a warm smile.  “Nicetameetcha, Tula.  Don’ smother yerself, now… ah ain’t too good ‘bout carryin’ people.” 

    Koy opened her mouth to make another teasing comment about Tula’s reaction, but the girl had now gone from rosy- to beet-red and even Koy knew the meaning of mercy.  Still confused, Koy shook her head and simply laughed at the girl.  “Go make yerself useful, eh?  Hang up my coat and start preparin’ the outfits.  I think we’re gonna start with the man’s shirt and tie.”

    Tula took several moments to register these directions, still looking at Kaja.  An elbow nudge from Koy brought her back to her senses.  “Sorry!  I’mmabigfan!” With a delighted squeal, Tula grinned like an idiot at Kaja and rushed over to the racks, still sneaking peeks over her shoulder now and then when she thought Koy wasn’t looking.

    Kaja chuckled.  She turned, motioning them into the office as she called out for Alicia.  “Alicia, meet Koyliak VanDuran an’ ‘er assistant, Tula.” She turned towards the two women, but only finding Koy, chuckled. “Moves fast, don’ she, Koy?”

    “Don’t know wha’s with her today, musta been somethin’ in her oatmeal.  Heya.”  The second greeting offered to Alicia, having not seen her before as she had been too boggled by Tula’s behavior.  Surveying the warehouse in the dim light, a squinting Koy could make out the vague outlines of what appeared to be the props and backgrounds she had requested: a bar, a boxing ring, a pool table, a chair and a luxuriously cushioned bench.

    “Psly or Harris here yet?  I’m not quite sure how this is all gonna work, but I’m thinkin’ fer at least the first outfit I got in mind, I’d like my hair ta look like I jest rolled outta bed after a long session of lovin with whoever is buyin the calendar.”  Koy followed Kaja to the office so she could work her magic, continuing to chatter away: “’Course yer the ‘xpert, I figure we’ll play it by ear cause I want yer opinion on some of the clothin I picked out ta see wha kinda hair and makeup will work best with it.”

    “Yeah, that would be right fer ya.  Tha men’ll go wild. Naw, no Psly or ‘Arris yet.”

    “So, ya doin’ the shirt an’ tie first… so we need a vented brush and a light curler.  She’s elven, right Kaja…” Alicia stopped there, just understanding the exchange between Kaj and Koy.  “Pslyder’s coming? Here?”

    “Yeah, he’s the photographer.”

    The sound of another motorcycle heralded the arrival of Psly, just in time, it seemed. . ."Anyone home?" he called in that classic southern drawl, just before stepping through the door.  Stepping through and noticing the gathering of ladies, he strolled over, camera case in hand.  He'd dressed especially for this occasion; longsleeve red silk shirt, halfway unbuttoned; black leather pants; black soft suede shoes, and as a couple of final touches, a pair of tiny silver hoops in his ears, and a single celtic ear cuff.

    Kaja turned, offering a mischievous smile to Alicia.  “Looks like ya ‘ave a chance ta do tha’ short circuit job you were talkin’ ‘bout.” 

    "Well, well. . .looks like we dun' struck gold here. . ." he murmured, chuckling softly.  He set up his equipment quickly. . .a pair of digital cameras, rigged to hook up to a portable memory storage unit, an automatic video camera (it was always a good idea to document photo shoots . . .), and a pair of collapsable tripods.  Then he stepped over for introductions to the two aides, grinning to both Kaja and Koy in turn.  "Ah'm Pslyder. . .an' y'all are?"

    Alicia turned beet red, her jaw dropping to the floor, and brown eyes wide. “Omigod, omigod, omigod, omigod, omigod, it’s HIM!”  Her voice moved from whisper to shriek, prompting both Kaja and Koy to recoil.

    “Damn, girl, get a grip!” Kaja said, smiling ruefully to Psly and Koy. “Sorry, Psly… this is my assistant, Alicia Melland.  Alicia, this is… “

    Alicia cut her off. “Frederick Thomas Alexander, better known as Pslyder, Journeyman an’ All-Star for the Unmentionables!  AAAAAAHHHHHHH!” she shrieked, making Koy and Kaja back up just a little more.

    Kaja shook her head, turning to Koy. “Koy, let’s get you all fixed up. Ya did a really good job, so ah don’ think it’ll take too long. Alicia, when you find whatevah mind ya jes’ lost, go ‘elp Tula with tha wardrobe. “

    Koy watched Alicia's ecstatic response with a confused look.  Had she missed something today?  First Tula, now Alicia.  Snickering quietly, she nudged Kaja.  "Looks like the two of 'em musta had breakfast together.  I really oughta check out tha oatmeal."

    Apparently, Alicia wasn't alone.  Tula was wheeling a rack full of clothing over towards Koy for her approval when he walked in.  Tula had thought Koy, for all her orders and jibes, was decently cool before, but with the arrival of Pslyder on top of Kaja Adair as two of her associates, her status on Tula's scale went through the roof!  She couldn't believe he was introducing himself!  Her brothers, friends, neighbors, milkmen, and anyone else with at least one working ear would never hear the end of it!

    While Alicia managed to get out her name and then some, Tula stood with her mouth gaping open.  Her mind was racing but she could not find a single word to say.  Koy on the other hand, was more than happy to help her out as she stepped over to the rack, picking out her outfit before laughing at Tula's expression.

    "This is my assistant Tula.  She's 'pparently become a mute."

    Koy's coolness ranking plummeted at that statement.  If Tula weren't so mortified and thought she could actually hit Koy without getting pummeled, she would have.  Instead, she just stammered, "Tula Sampson.  I speak."  I speak?!  What a moron...Tula inwardly groaned to herself.  For the second time that day, Koy took some pity on the girl and put an arm around her, whispering in her ear, "He's jest 'nother person, though iffn it helps ye, ye could picture him in his underwear.  I bet tha Alicia already is."  Koy chuckled, turning her gaze on Kaja's equally enraptured assistant.  At least Tula wasn't the only one, finding some comfort in the fact.

    Pulling away from Tula, Koy carried on as though she had been whispering very important instructions to the girl.  "Right.  And when yer done with tha, make sure ye set out the shoes fer each outfit like I told ye I wanted before."  Grateful for something to do, Tula nodded and rushed off not only to set out the shoes but to gab with Alicia about Pslyder and ask her what it was like to work with Kaja. 

    After the introductions had been made, and Psly did the gentlemanly bow and kiss (with the classic "Enchante"), he did what he did best, and faded into the background to simply capture the imagery on film.

    "So much fer bein professional, eh Kaj?"  Koy grinned at her fellow businesswoman, linking her creamy arm through Kaja's cafe au lait one.  "Good help is so hard ta find.  Now tha they're squared away, let's get down ta business." 
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