Dueler's Archives Forum IndexHome  SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 
New Rules From Your Diamond
Goto page 1, 2  Next
 
This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics.   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Dueler's Archives Forum Index -> Duel of Fists Archive
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:09 pm    Post subject: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/21/2000 4:27 PM Central Daylight Time
From: JesseTroyn


It's that time again, folks. I know any of you that were around last time I was Diamond were expecting this, and any of you new people are about to get a crash course in Jesse Rules 101. These are my rules for as long as I'm Diamond. I started this little trend over a year ago, and I see no reason to end it now. Hope you enjoy my little demands, suckers.

Jesse's Rules:

1. By executive order of the acting Diamond, all beneficial interests in the physical personal and dueling career of each duelist may be securitized, negotiated and monetized at the sole discretion of Mr. Wallace Danziger of Nakatomi CB&T. Mr. Danziger shall shortly inform all active participants of the details of this arrangement. Nakatomi CB&T is hereby further granted the non-transferable right to establish an exchange system for the systematized
listing, tracking and analysis of said securitized beneficial interests. All requirements for listing, filing formats and associated fees shall be at the sole discretion of Nakatomi CB&T.

2. During official fighting hours and special events hosted in the Outback (or the park, dojo, or any other venue while the Outback is out of commission), all men will refer to Janella, if she's around, as toots, sugar lips, cupcake, legs, or any other properly rude and demeaning name. Anybody who uses one of the aforementioned terms and successfully pinches her rear without getting flattened will be the beneficiary of free drinks for one week.

3. Anybody caught apologizing for successfully inflicting pain or scoring on their opponent during a regularly scheduled match or special event will be chastised, abused, and harassed by everybody present at the time for being a pathetic little panzy snot who's not worth the air they're breathing or the skin they're wasting. They will also be subjected to a fine of no less than $100 and no greater than $10,000, to be decided by me and only me.

3a. Anybody refusing to engage in the aforementioned harassment in Rule 2 will also be subject to a fine of no less than $20 and no greater than $1,000.

4. A giant lazy boy chair with a mini-fridge full of beer will be installed in the park and then moved to the dojo or Outback when the fighting venue again changes. The area will be roped off, and nobody is allowed to enter except for Jesse Troyan or somebody specifically designated by Jesse Troyan. A little pagoda will be provided to shelter the chair in the park. Anybody caught invading the private seating area and beer collection of the Diamond
will be subjected to a fine of no less than $5,000 and no more than $100,000. They will also be executed on the spot or forced to sit in the same room as Anubis for a period of 48 hours, whichever is deemed more painful for the person in question.

5. At the end of all fights won by Jesse Troyan, the Outback will donate $20 to the fine collection. At the end of all fights lost by Jesse Troyan (i.e. never), Jesse will donate $20 to the fine collection.

6. At the end of the cycle, all fines collected will be donated to the local orphanage.


That's it for now, suckers. Don't worry though, I'm sure I'll come up with more soon.

-JT

P.S. Men rule. Women suck.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:10 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/21/2000 9:10 PM Central Daylight Time
From: JadedDeath


"2. During official fighting hours and special events hosted in the Outback (or the park, dojo, or any other venue while the Outback is out of commission), all men will refer to Janella, if she's around, as toots, sugar lips, cupcake, legs, or any other properly rude and demeaning name."

"All men"?

That rather limits the qualified pool around here now doesn't it.

-Janella
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:11 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/22/2000 2:17 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Jaycy Ashleana


Jaycy's rule, and I don't care if I'm not the Diamond:

Anyone caught harassing Casey Shiv Blade will not be fined, but they will have to face me. And I won't play nice.

Jaycynda Ashleana
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:12 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/24/2000 1:08 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Brash Nillis


>Anyone caught harassing Casey Shiv Blade will not be fined, but they will
>have to face me. And I won't play nice.

No offense, Jaycy, but someone needs to inform that girl of the consequences of fist fighting when you're pregnant.

Brash Nillis, Esq.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:12 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/24/2000 4:02 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Jaycy Ashleana


"No offense, Jaycy, but someone needs to inform that girl of the consequences of fist fighting when you're pregnant."

Brash,

People have discussed this with her. It is her choice to fight, and I can only hope she fights those who would be understanding of her condition. However, my comment was not regarding harassing her during pregnancy, but in general. There is no need for her to be harassed because she apologizes during a fight. Many others do it, yet are respected throughout the community.

Jaycy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:13 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/24/2000 1:25 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Lilly Hyde


Jaycy,

I've had the misfortune of watching Casey duel, and personally I find her facade of trite contrition a little more than nauseagting.

But I suppose that's just me, and considering I find Tony's blunt mannerisms refreshing... that may not mean much.

Lilly
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:14 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/24/2000 2:29 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Lilly Hyde


> nauseagting

::mutters softly as she crosses out the g, in there, leaving only nauseating::
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:15 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/22/2000 2:39 AM Central Daylight Time
From: AnubiKar


>
>1. By executive order of the acting Diamond, all beneficial interests in the
>physical personal and dueling career of each duelist may be securitized,
>negotiated and monetized at the sole discretion of Mr. Wallace Danziger of
>Nakatomi CB&T. Mr. Danziger shall shortly inform all active participants of
>the details of this arrangement. Nakatomi CB&T is hereby further granted the
>non-transferable right to establish an exchange system for the systematized
>listing, tracking and analysis of said securitized beneficial interests. All
>requirements for listing, filing formats and associated fees shall be at the
>sole discretion of Nakatomi CB&T.

I hope "Mr. Wallace Danziger" doesn't really think he can try to "securitize, negotiate, and monetize" anything of mine and expect his loved ones to live much longer.

>4. A giant lazy boy chair with a mini-fridge full of beer will be installed
>in the park and then moved to the dojo or Outback when the fighting venue
>again changes. The area will be roped off, and nobody is allowed to enter
>except for Jesse Troyan or somebody specifically designated by Jesse Troyan.
>A little pagoda will be provided to shelter the chair in the park. Anybody
>caught invading the private seating area and beer collection of the Diamond
>will be subjected to a fine of no less than $5,000 and no more than $100,00

I'll sit there if I please, urchin. And I won't pay you a cent. Come to think of it, why should I recongize you as the Diamond? You didn't prove anything over me, I wasn't at the DQ!
Also, I actually have to defend my title..you don't. Come to think of it, why are you wasting our time?

The Diamond is easily the weakest of the three dueling kingpin titles.


>They will also be executed on the spot

How will they pay the fine if you kill them!?! Think!!!


> forced to sit in the same room as Anubis for a period of 48 hours, whichever
>is deemed more painful for the person in question.
>

It's slick little insults like this that make me really wish that little ex-coal of yours was actually up for grabs in a challenge.


>6. At the end of the cycle, all fines collected will be donated to the local
>orphanage.

In a land where children grow to adulthood in a blink of an eye, why do we have an orphanage?





Anubis Karos
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:16 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/22/2000 11:44 PM Central Daylight Time
From: DoF Banker


Nakatomi Consolidated Bank & Trust
666 Seventh Avenue
New York, NY 10019






Wallace Danziger
Senior Investment Banker





July 23, 2000



Ladies and Gentlemen of the Outback,

Pursuant to the executive order issued by your Diamond, my firm has been retained to establish and maintain an equity exchange for your benefit.

Over the coming weeks it will be my distinct pleasure to provide you with updated information as it becomes available, at the conclusion of which period you shall be able to freely trade these securities for fun and for profit. How successful you are shall be determined by how well you can predict the success (and failure) of various listed duelists. I have not yet compiled a complete list of the initial listings, but am working closely with your
Diamond to sift the wheat, as it were, from the chaff.

I would like to take this opportunity to explain the terms "securitize," "negotiate" and "monetize." These terms refer to the process whereby a single duelists career record, present ability, and probabilistically synthesized future career. The goal, of course, is to establish a valuation tied to the duelists present production of success (wins) over failure (losses), and the overall quality of that production; its reliability, its steady growth and
its performance under duress (that being, in "special circumstances" such as tournaments and challenges).

Over time, sometimes quite rapidly, sometimes in fits and starts, the "stock" of one duelist may appreciate handsomely while that of others languishes unchanged, or worse, depreciates in value.

The use of margin leverage (borrowing against equity to buy more equity) shall be permitted in accordance with the 50% starting equity and 40% maintenance requirements common on other regulated exchanges.

Derivatives shall not be traded until such a time as overall weekly exchange liquidity reaches the point that such products are viable.

I look forward to serving this community as I have served so very many in the past.

Yours in service,

Wallace Danziger

Wallace Danziger
Senior Investment Banker
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:17 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/22/2000 7:37 AM Central Daylight Time
From: XLisanaColestaeX


>4. A giant lazy boy chair with a mini-fridge full of beer will be installed
>in the park and then moved to the dojo or Outback when the fighting venue
>again changes. The area will be roped off, and nobody is allowed to enter
>except for Jesse Troyan or somebody specifically designated by Jesse Troyan.

::after perusing the temporary cork she can't help but chuckle at the new rules. Penning a quick note::

Jesse,

I'll sit in your chair just like I did last time you were Diamond, love muffin. And you still haven't gotten me back for doing it the first time!

Lisa.

::tacking the message up on the board where he can see it and she walks away laughing softly to herself. Remembering his threats of spanking and such other things.::
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:18 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/22/2000 10:37 AM Central Daylight Time
From: TarethThrn


He can only laugh as he notices the Jesse's Rules, version 2. They aren't bad actually, but he's minutely surprised to see the demand for the chair back in them. With how many people urinated in his last one, one might think that Jesse would have learned. Taking out a pen, he just doodles on the rules sheet for the disrespect factor, then crosses out the "i.e. never" parenthetical and scribbles in "i.e. to Tareth"
above it. Then he proceeds to doodle over each response thus far, making little letter monsters and stick people towns until nobody in their right mind could take anything said within each of them at all seriously.


----------=Thorn=----------
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:18 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/22/2000 12:16 PM Central Daylight Time
From: JesseTroyn


Alright, folks. Looks like I have a few addendums to make to the rules, so here they are.

Addendums:

1. Anubis will be hereby referred to by all people present during regularly scheduled fighting hours and special events times as "The Worst Duelist Ever," "He Who Gets Hit By Many Spinkicks," or "The Man Who Can't Beat Jesse." Any other witty and abusive nicknames will be subject to approval by the newly appointed Boards of Jerks.

2. A Board of Jerks will be created. Anybody failing to live up to the newly mandated standards of cruelty and thus subject to fines or punishments will be dealt with by said BoJ. The Board will consist of Jesse Troyan, Antonio Scarpia, and Tareth Thorn. If a member of the BoJ is found in violation of any aforementioned rules, hell must be freezing over.

3. Jaycy and Casey will be treated as a single entity due to Jay's bizarre desire to defend the little, whiney idiot. Given that neither of them could fight their way out of a paper bag, Jaycy's threats will be ignored by any member of the Duel of Fists adhering to the rule that mandates the harassment and abuse of annoying twits that apologize for hurting their opponents. Any attempt by Jaycy's to carry through with said threats will be laughed at
repeatedly, since we all know she's a useless little girl.

That's it for now. Don't worry, there will be more later.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:20 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/22/2000 2:17 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Jaycy Ashleana


"3. Jaycy and Casey will be treated as a single entity due to Jay's bizarre desire to defend the little, whiney idiot. Given that neither of them could fight their way out of a paper bag, Jaycy's threats will be ignored by any member of the Duel of Fists adhering to the rule that mandates the harassment and abuse of annoying twits that apologize for hurting their opponents. Any attempt by Jaycy's to carry through with
said threats will be laughed at repeatedly, since we all know she's a useless little girl."

Jaycy snorted as she read that. "Useless? Maybe. Little... definitely. But just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't fight."

With a smirk, she put pen to paper and wrote a response.

Jesse,

I'm useless enough that you have to make a "rule" concerning me, I suppose. I can't fight well enough that you just had to respond. Trust me, when I have reason enough, you'll find me just a little more useful than you want me to be.

With love, as always,
Jaycy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:20 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/22/2000 10:09 PM Central Daylight Time
From: TarethThrn


Somehow within the next few unmonitored hours, the capitol A in "Addendum" becomes a giant cartoon lizard with overexaggerated teeth. In one of the lizard's stick arms, it holds a stick man with a large, sparkly thing hanging from its neck.

The quoted 3 in the next letter over turns into a big, fat teddy bear with angry eyes, a mustache, and fangs.

A spikey-haired smilie face rides in the bottom right corner of both, just 'cause.




----------=Thorn=----------
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DoF Archive
Archivist


Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 2684

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 5:21 pm    Post subject: Re: New Rules From Your Diamond Reply with quote

Date: 7/24/2000 12:46 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Dae Dragonsblade


Oh.

Where is Scarface now that we mention it? Seems like you'll have to find a new Board member since he hightailed it out after he was mercilessly slaughtered in the DQ, Jesse. Come to think of it..that kid owes me alot of money, ahh well. If he doesn't pay me, I'll find him.


~Daelin Dragonsblade

~XXXIX Overlord of the Duel of Swords

~Defender of the Blue Opal, IceDancer
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics.   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Dueler's Archives Forum Index -> Duel of Fists Archive All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Goto page 1, 2  Next
Page 1 of 2

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB 2.0.21 © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group